Gamer Grumps: Part 1
2k5 - Wednesday, March 15, 2013, 8:00 PM ---------------------------------------- <'Earth'> CNN says, "Two scientists have come up with a PERPETUAL MOTION energy generator in Glendale, California. They claim that this device will create an unlimited amount of energy and solve all the world's energy problems. They're debuting the device at the Glendale University Science Auditorium." California Covering almost 158,700 square miles, the Golden State contains everything from redwood and sequoia forests in the north, to the fertile Central Valley, to the deserts of the south and east. A land of contrasts, the lush beauty of forested national parks such as Redwood and Yosemite are matched by the harsh beauty of the Death Valley and Joshua Tree national parks. The coast, too, varies from waves dashing themselves at the foot of the rocky cliffs in the north to gentle swells lapping the sandy beaches in Southern California. The state is not only one of the most beautiful, but is also the most populous in the United States, concentrated mostly in major cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco. Contents: Windshear Melody Reynolds Blades Ravage Bug Creature <'Repugnus'> Arcata Santa Cruz Obvious exits: North leads to Northwestern States. Southeast leads to Mexico. West leads to North Pacific - North American Coast. East leads to Southwestern States. Nevada Fly Arizona Mojave Desert Death Valley Los Angeles San Francisco The Glendale University Science Auditorium looks more like a cleared out gym, quite honestly. There's a lot of space at least, and most of it is occupied by steel chairs. Many of them are occupied by reporters. And, as per usual in cases where a Decepticon attack is expected, there's an EDC presence here, and the Autobots have been invited as well. There's a stage set up with a table, behind which two middle-aged men are sitting and apparently going over some materials for the presentation. One of them has no neck and the other is somewhat heavyset. The two men, apparently, are going to give a presentation on their so-called "Perpetual Motion Energy Generator" but even many of the reporters in here look skeptical of the claim and are making hushed wisecracks about how it's probably a piece of crap. Melody Reynolds tries to look inconspicious. This may be a little easier said than done- there aren't many college kids walking around in EDC fatigues, packing sidearms (apart from the occasional avant garde production in the theatre department). Well, at least she's not suited up. Yet. Every now and again, Melody looks over at an unmarked white van parked alongside the exhibition hall. "Everything's clear." she murmurs into her earpiece. The question is- for how long? Ravage would gladly challenge anyone to looking inconspicuous, if he ever intended to try. Silence first, sneaky first, and each step is carefully taken to avoid scattering dust in the upper catwalks of the flyloft over the stage. His irises focus and filter out as much unwanted light as possible to get a good look at these two speakers. The view finally seems optimal enough, and rather than pressing his luck, the sneak settles himself down to simply observe and record. First Aid is leaning against one of the gym walls, arms folded as the scienticians, journalists, and genereal lookee-loos go about setting up for the presentation. "All clear here, too," he says into the radio. Aid is pretty confident that the Cons aren't going to bite on this one. Perpetual motion! With that could come unlimited power! Who's going to believe that such a thing is even possible? It's crazy. "I still think they should have gone with our robot ninja idea," he tells Blades. Blades has his arms crossed, and he is leaning insouciantly against one of the walls. He has on a expression of, 'Someone please stab me now.' Blades nods and says slowly, "Yeah. One with great, big... knives." Windshear has caught wind of some flashcreature scientific presentation. That alone makes him chuckle. But, well, hes an F15 now and this is a mighty fine jet he has to grudgengly admist to perhaps humans could actually come up with something decent every now and then. The Dark Seeker is hoping this is one of those times since its a "Perpetual Motion Energy Generator" ... err.. thing being touted and thanks to a personal project in the works, this strikes his interest. The Decepticon heads to California and the presentation, pondering along the way if he should try to not reveal his presense or just bold as brass, stand there and listen to it. He's sure Autobots will be there and his radar comfirms as much as he comes in range of the location. He transforms and simply walks up to the edge of the crowd. Whats the point in hiding, right? The Dead looking Seeker pulls out an enercig and nods to the Autobots with a look on his face as if to say, 'wanna make something of it?' At long last the fat man stands up, clearing his throat. "Ahem, thank you all for coming here to our presentation! I'm John Jafari, also known as Jontron!" The chinless man speaks up next: "And I'm Arin Hanson, AKA Egoraptor!" John grins at Arin, and says, "Or let's put it another way... I'm a grump!" Arin says, "I'm not so grump!" Finally, they say together, "And we're the Game Grumps!" John says, "However, I regret to inform you that our Perpetual Massage Generator is fake and IT'S A TRAP! Heeheeheehee!" And as he says that, suddenly metal panels slide down over the exits, sealing everyone inside! Arin says, "Okay, and here is how this works, okay? You're going to play games for us, and if you do not then you will die. Yes, you will die? Our friend Barry hacked into an EDC orbital bombardment satellite? It was built during General Franklin Cross's time in the EDC but they forgot about it and now we have it and we will fire it at this auditorium if you do not play games for us! Barrrrrry. Show them a demonstration of their annihilation!" A large, double-sided widescreen TV lowers from the ceiling, showing a flash animation depiction a giant laser hitting the Glendale auditorium, and then oblitering everything else within a 1.5 mile radius. Black and yellow text appears over the animation, saying, "GET THE PICTURE?" Blades deadpans, "Oh, frak, they're going to make us play ET." Melody Reynolds turns, getting sight of: "Doctor First Aid. A pleasure." Her smile falters a little as she sees: "Blades." Well, at least there aren't any- And then there's a quick squack of chatter over the comlink, and Melody spins to get a good look at Windshear- okay, one Decepticon, that's nothing she can't- And then the two nerds are ranting, supervillain style, and Melody spins back, hand snapping to the butt of her sidearm. "You can't be serious." She says, already stalking towards the stage. "You'll never get away with this." Well, that does not bode well. Ravage continues to record, though now the game seems to have changed. His gaze shifts towards Melody, optical sensors zooming in to catch her reaching for that sidearm as he frowns. No, this does not bode well at all. Rash, illogical... He turns his attention away from the stage and towards the monitor, picking his way towards the cabling that connects it to whatever is providing the video feed. Time to figure out what, exactly, is going on here. His tailtip splits, thin wires splicing their way into the cable to trace the source of the faux video feed. First Aid only listening to Grump #1 and Grump #2 out of his need to be polite. In truth he couldn't give a you-know-what about what's surely a fake thing. He shakes his head when it is indeed revealed that it's all just a fake and it's a trap, etc etc, and that now they're all going to have to play a game for their amusement or else they'll unleash an EDC orbital satellite that will cause untold deaths, yadda yadda, etc etc. ...wait. What was that again? First Aid stands up straight. "Uh. Is this your idea of a joke?" he calls out to them, though he's already fearing that it isn't. Windshear listens to the two humans with a mildly surprised look on his face. But when the exists close off he glances back at the one closest to him then at the TV screen, "You cant be serious?" His baratone rings out as he seems to ponder his enercig. <'EDC'> Corporal Johnson says, "Uh, be advised we have a combat satellite moving into position over California. Wait, that's odd. It's got an EDC IFF signature." <'EDC'> Melody Reynolds says, "The signal's been hijacked. Get our IT guys on it, or a sub-orbital interceptor, or SOMETHING. This is Bond-level trouble here." <'EDC'> Apocryphacius says, "Hm." <'NEST'> First Aid says, "Not to alarm anyone, but we have a Decepticon in here." <'NEST'> Melody Reynolds says, "Noted." <'EDC'> Apocryphacius says, "I wonder if this is Silas's work." "We are SUPER CEREAL!" John screams, "You will play games or we will blow you up, yes we will!" Arin stands up, glaring at everyone. "Getting away with this doesn't matter! This is REVENGE for the Long Night! When we got hit by the Decepticons' super weapon, all the world's video game consoles and video games were destroyed! We even lost the ROM's because all the PC's that had them had their memory wiped! Generations of video games, lost!" John giggles maniacally. "And it's time to pay the piper!" The signal looked like it might have been originating from somewhere in Hell, Alabama, but Ravage has little time to hack into it further before the double-sided TV displays: INTRUDER ALERT! and shows a flash animation of a cartoonized Ravage messing with the wires of the TV screen. "HEY! HEY! MEOW! Get down from there!" John yells, throwing a shoe up at Ravage. "Oh, that won't do any good," Arin says. "That's not a real cat, that's a catbot. They're resistant to shoes. And guns." "Yeah okay whatever," John says with no punctuation. "OKAY! First game we will play is Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketbrawl. And it's Autobots and EDC babe vs. Decepticons." As he speaks, basketball hoops emerge from the ground--it really is just a gym!--and a heavy metal "basketball" slams into the ground just shy of some of the startled reporters. "OKAY!" John yells. "First team to score ten points in Basketbrawl GETS TO LEAVE ALIVE!" He quietly whispers, "Begin!" <'Autobot'> Blades says, "...I don't know the rules of basketbrawl. Is this going to be a problem?" Melody Reynolds stares. "...Really?" She says, thumbing back the strap holding her pistol in place. "After all we've been through- after all HUMANITY has been through, you're doing this for a-" and she staggers a little bit as the 'basketball' smashes into the ground. "-game? If nothing else, shouldn't you be taking this out on the Cybertonians- not all these innocent bystanders?" she gestures with her left hand, keeping her other tight around the butt of her pistol. Diplomacy first, bullets later. <'NEST'> Melody Reynolds says, "First Aid, can you and Blades play along? I'm going to try to talk these maniacs down." <'NEST'> Melody Reynolds says, "-and if that doesn't work, I'm gonna kill them both." Ravage might have been caught, but he is very quick to snap at that shoe thrown his way. If for no other reason than to deny the man his shoe back. While they are discussing his own ability to stop bullets with his skin, he makes sure to get a very good image stored away for later reference. One last thing...he snips the power cord of the television out of spite before dropping down to the stage proper. Right about then, the hoops and massive ball are revealed, and it is time to take stock. Odds...well, not wonderful at all. Three on two? Well, one is a human. "You are wasting your time," is all he offers as he stalks towards the ball. <'NEST'> Spindrift says, "That's the spirit." <'NEST'> Spindrift would question why there's a bother to talk down first, but hey, humans doing there thing. <'NEST'> First Aid says, "Alright, Melody, we'll try. Blades, engage Don't-Stab-Everyone protocols!" Windshear watches the ball smash into the floor and listens to the human female. "When the humans sided with the Autobots, the option for 'innocent bystanders' fell by the wayside..." he says and was considering heading toward the ball until he sees Ravage stalk toward it. <'NEST'> Blades grunts. <'NEST'> Repugnus says, "That sounds like the WORST protocol." <'NEST'> Blades says, "It is the third worst." <'NEST'> Blades says, "Let's not talk about the other two, okay?" Combat: Blades compares his Agility to Ravage's Agility: Success! <'NEST'> Spindrift says, "First worst is havin' to use his rockets I bet" Blades goes for the ball, trying to take it away from Ravage, because he is the sort of heartless bastard who would steal a ball from a playful kitten! Or from an evil spy jaguar. Or something. He really hates having to pperate under Don't-Stab-Everybody Protocol. So many problems can be solved by stabbing everybody. In any case, now that he has the ball, he... tries to give it to First Aid, who probably actually knows the rules or something. Combat: First Aid compares his Agility to 60: Failure :( Combat: Windshear compares his Agility to 80: Failure :( Blades raises his hands to his mouth and heckles, "Oh, for slag's sake, can none of you catch!?" "...shouldn't we be revenging against the Decepticons then?" First Aid asks, but then he realizes that logic has no place in their minds. "Intruder al-..." he looks around, instanding spotting Windshear. "Hey, Decepticon!" he points an accusing finger at Windshear. He's about to say 'you're probably responsible because humans aren't this stupid' (or something to that effect) but then stops himself. Visions of Lord Chumley dances through his head, and as a result First Aid completely misses the ball as it bounces off his chest. "Oof!" Luckily(?), Blades hands it right back. "Right... Basketball... no no, I know this one." He sets the ball down and starts dribbling. "Go wide, Blades! Lateral hook! Lateral hook!" Combat: Blades compares his Intelligence to 80: Failure :( Windshear isnt too surprised that he missed trying to take the ball away. Whoever built him had a sick sense of humor considering his alternate mode. But when at first you dont succeed nothing like tryign again. The Zombie Seeker attempts to cut in front of Blades arms out to try to take the ball in mid pass. There is a brief moment wherein Ravage contemplates taking a seat and just watching. Strange words and commands, Windshear diving at nothing, First Aid getting bowled over by a ball... This is entertainment at its finest! Only thing that would be better? Innocent bystander getting trampled during a play... The feline seriously debates making this happen, staring at one such press representative thoughtfully before he charges to do what cats do best in all situations wherein walking is taking place: Trip the poor bugger. In this case, First Aid. Combat: Ravage compares his Accuracy to First Aid's Agility: Success! Blades has absolutely no idea what First Aid is talking about, and he says, confused, "You... want me to go hunt down Hook and flay him alive? First Aid, I don't think now is the time for that! I mean, any time is a good time for skinning Constructicons, but bro, there's a killsat about to nuke us all right now." "OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" John screams, and Arin twitches a bit. "John," Arin squeeks, "You said you wouldn't scream?" To which John replies, "YEAH WELL I LIED OKAY. The Autobots got the ball first! Barry, put up a celebratory--Barry?" He stares up at the double-sided screen. "BARRY IS DOWN! I repeat, Barry is down! Quick, Arin!" Arin fumbles with his pockets for a moment. "Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, mmmmmmmhhhhhhhh!!!" Finally he pulls out a cellphone, and it turns out that this cellphone has a built-in projector! He sets it up on the table in front of him and it begins projecting on a wall across from them in the Auditorium. It's a bit washed out but the words, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT, CAT" are clearly visible. Combat: Windshear compares his Agility to Ravage's Agility: Success! Combat: Windshear compares his Agility to Blades's Agility: Success! First Aid starts dribbling forward. "I got it! I got it!" CAT ATTACK!! First Aid trips in the most hilarious way, going head over heels and landing on his tushie. The ball keeps moving forward on its own momentum, and Aid's too stunned to answer Blades just yet. <'NEST'> First Aid says, "Melody we're getting massacred out here." <'NEST'> First Aid says, "I mean in the soccer game." First Aid's posed. Combat: Ravage compares his Velocity to 70: Failure :( Ravage's pose: Ravage skids and turns to dive after the ball as he grins at the chaos taking place. An opening, fantastic! Of course, it seems he's still trying to get his feet under him after impacting First Aid to free up the ball to begin with. By the time he's able to get up to speed, he's already a bit behind the power-curve. Melody Reynolds spares a glance over her shoulder at the mayhem going down on the court- and then she's heading back towards the stage. "So...that's it?" she asks- turning slightly so they might not see the fact she's still got a hand on her gun. "I mean...you have access to an unimaginably powerful weapon, and...you're using it for...basketball? And they don't even know how to play! Haven't you thought about...you know, other stuff? Money? Power? Women?" There's a brief flicker on Melody's face at that last part- writ clear 'Should I have said that?' "HEY," John yells at Melody. "Don't talk about those video games like they ain't nothin'! How many people grew up on those things! How many hours of gameplay did they put in? How many MEMORIES did they get out of it! Now it's all gone because of the dumb robots! But you got a good point!" He leans forward a bit, trying to grin in a lecherous way. "I have thought about using my unstoppable power to get women, and, uh, you know if you're interested... uh..." "JOHN THINGS ARE HAPPENING AND WE'RE SUPPOSED TO COMMENT ON IT," Arin yells. "Speaking of which! What do you think you'd turn into if you were a Transformer? I'd want to turn into a pony because they're pretty." Combat: Blades compares his Strength to Windshear's Strength: Success! Combat: Windshear compares his Agility to 60: Success! First Aid picks himself up after his tushie had the close encounter with the floor. "Hey, get back here!" he calls after Ravage (and thus also the ball). The Protectobot sprints forward after him, but in the back of his mind he's trying to figure out a subtle way to tell the Decepticons that they should work together against the Grump Gamers. Ah ha, Aid has it! "Ravage! Etslay Eam-up-tay gainst-hay the oup-gray amers-gay!" Then, as an afterthought, "But with non-lethal force!" Cracking from the stress of not stabbing anyone for five minutes straight, Blades shouts out, "Dinoball rules!" Then he does what looks like a running tackle lunge at Windshear, but it turns out that he's just trying to ride the Seeker like a pony? Oh what the smeg? Theres nothing in the files Windshear'''s screaming through in his datatfiles about basketball, where players ride each other. He was trying to dribble the ball and cram a course on the sport when the Autobot suddenly leaps on his back! The Zombie Seeker stumbles forward a bit all while trying to keep the ball 'dribbling'. "Mech what is your.. malfucntion?" he asks and slams both his wings backwards trying to dislodge the unwelcome passenger and keep his balance and keep the ball moving and look for the hoop. Combat: '''Windshear compares his Strength to Blades's Strength: Failure :( Combat: First Aid compares his Velocity to Ravage's Velocity: Success! Ravage alters his course, running to the hoop assigned for-wait. He skids to a stop and looks at the hoops. Which one belongs to which? One ear twists back to listen to First Aid's horribly encrypted message while the other follows Windshear in case instructions are given. Of course, there is that hinderance Windshear's got on his back... The feline glances at First Aid, silently asking why he's making a big chase out of this before bounding over to dive-tackle the added weight off Windshear's back -aka: Blades-. Melody Reynolds steps closer, fighting down the urge to wince. The things she does in service of the EDC. "Well. Um. John, was it?" she says. "I...uh. I always had a thing for a smart guy." She attempts to cock her hip to the side in a semi-seductive pose- but it's not helped by Melody's awkwardness- or by her shapeless uniform, or the good amount of gear she's got hanging from her vest. "Just. Uh. Promise me something. Promise you won't play games...with my heart?" <'EDC'> Melody Reynolds makes a slight throwing-up noise. Combat: Ravage compares his Strength to Blades's Strength: Failure :( Blades gets a grip of death on Windshear, and he growls, "Rule one of being stuck inside a slaggy game by supervillains: change the rules. So I'm changing the rules now!" Then Ravage joins him? "...robot totem pole rules!" <'EDC'> Apocryphacius says, "Are you ill?" First Aid doesn't get a response from Ravage other than a weird glance. Maybe his encryption was too complex for the Recordicon? But then Ravage goes for Blades, and First Aid's optics widen. "Hey! Get your paws off him, you darn dirty panther!" He tries to grab Ravage and hold him. Success or not, First Aid, Blades, Ravage, and Windshear are all in close proximity now, and First Aid stage whispers. "I think Melody's plan is working. The boy's pheromone levels suggest that he wants to mate with her." Windshear is a strong Seeker but this is getting a bit much. "Robot Totem Pole Basketball my aft." he mutters and TRIES to make a shot at the closest hoop. But with all the extra poundage on his back and on his precious WINGS he can only hope he throws the ball right and not pitch it through the bystanders instead. He sees First Aid heading toward him out of the corner of his optic. Oh no please no... John tries to continue the joke that Arin started. "If I was a Transformer, I'd want to turn into a cheese wheel, so like, if I got hungry, I could eat myself and WHAAAT?!" he abruptly yells at Melody before realizing she's trying to seduce him. "Oh! Well, baby, I would play one game with your heart, and that game is Sonic '06! The last game I played before video games died..." "Hey," Arin says, leaning forward and stage-whispering. "He's not the smart one. He's the dumb one." John hears it of course. "Man, f*ck you." Combat: First Aid compares his Strength to Ravage's Strength: Success! Melody Reynolds , for the first time this evening, allows herself a smile. THERE'S her opening. "Are you going to take that?" she says, looking between John and Arin. "All of this is from YOUR planning, isn't it? And now he's going to try to get all the credit! And the money! And the girls!" Melody pauses, and then looks around. "The, uh, hypothetical girls. Who...play...Sonic?" Combat: Windshear compares his Agility to Blades's Agility: Success! Combat: Windshear compares his Accuracy to 75: Success! Ravage is...not in a good spot. He lets First Aid grab him, letting go and falling to the ground as he listens to the whisper. "Of course." He looks over as Windshear takes the shot, flicking his tail to free it from First Aid's grasp. "Don't ever grab me like that again." He pushes himself to his feet and takes time to line up a shot, not bothering to hide his intentions as the rocket-pod on his right hip angles towards the heavy ball. "YES it was all my idea!" John says proudly, standing with hands on his hips. "He was just along for the ride!" Arin says, "No, now that's not true! It was that guy, what was his name... Silo--" "SHHHH SHHH SHHH SHHHHH!" John interrupts, putting a finger to Arin's lips. "ALL ME!" First Aid keeps right next to Ravage. "Hey! We need to be /working together/ on this, Ravage, not just playing their silly little game. Maybe we... could..." First Aid follows Ravage's gaze, and can see that he's aiming one of those rockets of his on the ball. "...you're, uh, you're not going to... shoot it, are you?" Blades is distracted by some peanuts that someone in the crowd is eating noisily. Seriously, how can that guy be eating peanuts at a time like this? So Windshear scores his evil points, unblocked by an annoying Protectobot. Peanuts. Clearly the nut of darkness. And that's just what Melody needs. As John turns to Arin, Melody crosses the rest of the distance, smoothly pulling her sidearm, attempting to jam the muzzle of the weapon into John's kidney. "Just for the record, John, this pistol is designed to shoot at Cybertonians. Which means the bullet will punch right through you, and still have more than enough velocity behind it to make a mess out of your friend. So why don't we call the game now?" To punctuate her point, Melody thumbs back the hammer of her weapon with an ominously loud *CLICK!* Windshear makes his shot and then spins around hard trying to dislodge the Autobots, "Are you nuts, mech!?" he seeths as he tries to reach back and get a hold of the Autobots head or something to yank him off. "First to ten wins. If no one gets to ten, the game cannot be completed. It is a break in the logical flow of the game if the key piece is removed." Ravage grumbles. "Or, they planned on this, and the ball will not be destroyed and ricochet rather dangerously." The panther pauses, suddenly rethinking as he looks towards the stage. "Of course, there is a more...simplistic way to handle this. Lethality must be considered, you know." He makes a show of staying in the game, running after the ball now that the first point has been scored. Combat: Ravage compares his Velocity to 40: Success! Combat: Windshear compares his Strength to Blades's Strength: Failure :( "No no no, no lethality," First Aid says to Ravage. "Not in this case. Not in something this... uh, silly." The Protectobot glances over as Melody takes matters into her own hands. Wow, she's really good at bluffing, Aid thinks. He isn't running after Ravage anymore so the two Cons have free reign on the situation right now. "AAAAHHHHH OH GOD I thought you wanted to have copulations with me I feel so betrayed!" John cries, again with no punctuation. He gets his hands up in the air, apparently surrendering. "Welp, I guess that foiled OUR evil plan," Arin says, throwing his hands up. However, the projector on Arin's cellphone--it's on a stand now--shows this ominous message from Barry: CONTINUE PLAYING. OR YOU ALL DIE. Ravage has the ball and jumps on it. He can't carry it, can't dribble it, can't do much...but roll until he's able to kick it firmly towards the hoop, as he glances towards the stage. Well, there goes that particular plan. Time to think, truly think. He glances at the ball to see how it is doing. Combat: Ravage compares his Accuracy to 85: Success! "No copulating today." Melody hisses, reaching forward to grab John by the scruff of the neck. She shoves him forward- all the better so she can cover both the nerds with her handgun. "Call off the countdown. Now. Or else this game is going to get very ugly, very quick." Blades continues to ride Windshear around with a death grip, and he mutters, "Hey, how high and fast can you fly, anyway, jetboy? Are you one of those obnoxious space Seekers, by any chance? Like... the kind that can... shoot down satellites?" Windshear just cant understand why he can't get the Autobot off his back. Maybe the mechs got velcro hands or something. "F15s can fly high enough to shoot down satellites, yes. But no, I cant go past that point..." His voice turns cold then, "Would you like me try with you. on. my. back?" Hes crazy enough to do it to. Not waiting for a reply the Dark Seeker simply ignores Blade's weight at this point and makes a dive for the ball. John and Arin mostly just whimper helplessly. However, Barry is relentless! These words are projected upon the wall: VERY WELL. IF YOU WILL NOT PLAY, YOU WILL DIE. OPENING FIRE IN 20... 19.... "Yes," Blades declares. "Yes. You fly up to try to shoot it down, and if you fail, I'll stab it down." This is clearly a flawless plan. First Aid isn't paying attention to the game. You know how when little children of about 3-4 years old are playing a sport and there's always that one kid who's smaller than all the others who just skates around the rink aimlessly as if it's a public skate instead of going after the puck?... or whatever sport fits your home town better? First Aid is that kid. <'EDC'> Corporal Johnson says, "Oh, no! The combat satellite's in low orbit and seems to be charging its weapon!" <'EDC'> First Aid says, "Thanks Corporal Exposition!" Combat: Windshear compares his Agility to 75: Failure :( <'EDC'> First Aid says, "Wait, no, read the frequency wrong. I meant Corporal Johnson." <'EDC'> Corporal Johnson says, "I get that all the time..." Windshear realizes as he dives for the ball that Blades is a lot heavier then he thought. Though with him on his back all this time you'd think hed now by now, right? He misses the ball and faceplants. "I didn't mean that." he mumbles with his face in the court. Ravage blinks at the countdown and looks at First Aid accusingly, but the game is afoot and he's rolling back as he rather casually bounds towards one of the many metal chairs, giving it a calculated swat with his tail to send it flying towards the fleshlings on-stage. Well, maybe not them directly...but that projector-phone? That thing absolutely has to go before calmly moving towards the ball and looking back at First Aid. "We reach ten points and we will undoubtedly be fired upon anyway, yes?" Melody Reynolds scowls. And here she was hoping it'd be -easy-. "Of course you're minions." She mutters, and then makes a grab for the projector/phone. "Hey! You! Whoever you are! You want a good game? Why the hell are you looking HERE? You've got a doctor, a maniac, a half-dead jet, and a -CAT.- This isn't an exhibition, it's a sideshow! Call off your killsat, give us some time, and we'll show you a -REAL- competition!" Melody pauses. "They'll probably play soccer or something." THWACK! The phone--and Arin--are hit by the metal chair. The phone goes flying and Arin is knocked right the hell out. It seems like the phone is trying to project something but the image is flying all over the walls and floor as the thing projecting it goes flying. Combat: Melody Reynolds compares her Agility to 50: Success! First Aid nods at the Recordicon. "They're from the Internet, Ravage. They'll break the rules on the slightest whim if it helps their trolling. Theirs is the worst bunch of them all." The Protectobot glances at the screen suspiciously. He's looking at ALL OF YOU. Blades climbs off Windshear and tries to cold-cock him across the head with the backside of his hand. He rails, "Windshear! If you don't turn into a jet and destroy that killsat, you know what will happen? You will have to put up with me in robot hell. For all of eternity. And all the other Seekers will make fun of you. And Soundwave will be pretty sad about losing Ravage in an understated way that will probably lead him into a spiral of binge-drinking that will produce Canadiacon. That's what will happen. So show these humans that you're the better villain by wrecking their stuff!" Combat: Blades compares his Leadership to 40: Failure :( GAME OVER Combat: Melody Reynolds compares her Leadership to 50: Failure :( Windshear realizes the weight of the world is off his back finally. No, it was just Blades. But then hes getting slapped across teh back of his head and someomes rambling about Candaciancon and Soundwave drunk. He lifts his head up, the only thought on his mind is his precious face. And then he remembers somethign about the rambling voice going on about facing Soundwave if RAvage dies. The Dark Seeker stands up suddenly with no regard to where Blades is at and looks around for the ball. Wait, smeg the ball, he looks up at the ceiling. "Im about ready to blow this joint." he looks around for RAvage and then the two humans that set them up this game. Slowly he starts stalking toward them. "How about I change the rules.. Game over, you loose." and he lifts a laser cannon. The cell phone projects, "WAIT, YOU CAN MAKE THIS MORE INTERESTING? THAT COULD BE PROMISING--WAIT, WHAT IS THE JET ONE DOING?" from where it is on the ceiling. Ravage runs towards the ball and looks towards Windshear and Blades. Well, that's not all too wonderful. He looks at the ball...then the stage. He leaves the ball where it is at and instead stalks towards Melody and James, glaring at the latter coldly. "I was debating the same." He pins his ears back and looks for the phone that was knocked to the side, immediately crouching as that tailtip opens up, wires and probes snaking out to hack into and interface with the phone. "Yes, far, FAR more interesting." Melody says, siezing on what fragile chance there may be left! And she looks up towards Windshear, scowling. "You! Do something? Or would you rather die here the same as the rest of us?" And then she shoots a look over at First Aid. "That one's not one of the ones with a Death Wish, is he?" Combat: Ravage compares his Technical to 80: Failure :( The cell phone suddenly projects, "WHO JUST TRIED TO HACK INTO MY COMPUTER? RESUMING COUNTDOWN!" First Aid looks back at Melody. "He's the one with the really... uh... interesting...?... paintjob." First Aid is too kind to call it 'ugly'. The medic steps forward towards John and Arin. Since Windshear is going to totally solve this problem without screwing everything up (OR SO HELP ME GOD) he wants to make certain neither Con tries to kill them. Ravage says, "The satellite may require a beacon to lock onto. It is possible the ball is one of them." He ignores the voice on the other end of the phone. "You may wish to destroy a wall and see if we can use that as a means of egress, Autobot." Ravage continues to mess with the phone. "Also, get that ball out of here. If there is a beacon...that may well be it. Best not to shoot the minions, they have no power here." The panther grunts. "We have...not long at all to act, and I want to at least transmit something before we are incinerated."" Combat: Ravage compares his Technical to 70: Success! Windshear was looking for the downed human but then suddenly takes his arm cannon off. With a brush of a hidden button sights pop up and a handle drops down. He brings it up and aims at the phone. "You seem to be calling the shots.. phone." he begins. "Stand down and release us, or.. I destroy /you/." he knows theres a chance the 'phone' has a failsafe for destruct if destroyed but hes willing to call the bluff. The phone projects this message: "GO AHEAD, DESTROY THE PHONE. I'M JUST USING IT TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN TEN SECONDS. NOW NINE..." Melody Reynolds stares at Windshear. "He's just TALKING on the phone, you idiot!" she snaps, and then looks back to Barry. "Hey! What about a more interesting game?" The phone projects: "MORE INTERESTING? COMBAT BASKETBRAWL WITH ROBOTS WAS PRETTY INTERESTING. TRY ME." Ravage starts the trace as soon as he's able, hunting out the source of the call through the towers linked to it, as well as any underlying codes that might belong to the relays routing data to the satellite. "You are threatening an inanimate object. Best to create an opening." He grumbles. "Swiftly." He lets Melody talk while he's doing his work. Melody Reynolds stalls. "Uh. Combat basketball with -MORE- robots? Actual, you know, competent ones? You know both sides just sent their second stringers for this mission, right?" She pauses, and looks up to First Aid, mouthing: 'Sorry!' Windshear flicks a wing, "Can you be sure?" But he suddenly turns his canon toward the ball and fires. ZOT! The laser strikes the metal ball, smacking it across the gym, but not quite out of the gym. You'll have to come up with another way of moving the ball! "BUT THAT'S CLEARLY RAVAGE, ONE OF THE DECEPTICONS' BEST SPIES," the phone projects. "THAT'S NOT A SECOND STRINGER. ALSO HE'S A ROBOCAT." Speaking of Ravage, the crafty tape does manage to hack his way through to the source of the call... and through there, manages to hijack the connection to the satellite! "Yeah!" First Aid shouts at the phone, playing along with Melody. "I throw like a minibot and you had me out there on the field... pitch... thing. Now if you had Hot Spot or Springer out there it might have actually been interesting!" He scoffs at the phone's retort. "Oh please, 'one of the Decepticons' best spies'. That's keeping the bar pretty low, Mr. Phone." "But when's the last time you saw a cat win a world cup?" Melody says. "...apart from that one commercial on Youtube. That doesn't count." You say, "The fact that you couldn't even call him /the/ best spy speaks volumes in of itself. It's just him and Laserbeak!" Windshear looks at First Aid suddenly, "What was uncalled for. You realize we are saving your lasercore as well..." he looks back at the ball and realizes what hes got to do. He puts the lasercannon back on his arm and heads for the ball. Once the Seeker gets to the ball he transforms around it and points his nosecone toward one of the blocked doors. "Time to shoot down a satellite. Ravage can you tell me the coordinates of the satellite?" "Nothing is certain, Windshear, not in circumstances like this." The pantherlistens to the voice on the other end and rolls his eyes. "Egress only. No time to shoot it down. In fact, I would prefer it not be destroyed just yet." $r Ravage sends a surge through the command line to override the coordinates, altering the target package to coincide with the coordinates of the call itself. "Flattery will get you nothing." His last act before severing the link? Altering the encryption and downloading the codes. "Still on the line, Sir? What is your name, anyway?" The look on his face is all too smug at this point as he listens, not so much for the answer, but for confirmation things are going as planned. "YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE CLEVER, DON'T YOU?" the phone projects. "I KNOW ALL ABOUT THE MOST FAMOUS AUTOBOTS AND DECEPTICONS AND I KNOW THAT YOU PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO PLAY ME FOR A FOOL. THE NAME IS BARRY, FOR THE RECORD, AND NOBODY PLAYS BARRY FOR A FOOL! DIEEEE!" And then, at long last, the satellite fires. Somewhere. Not here. But interestingly enough, the phone goes silent. Or more accurately, it stops projecting words everywhere. Windshear drops the ball... literally... Melody Reynolds braces herself- And then...nothing happens. She doesn't let this phase her- soon tapping her comlink for a report! <'EDC'> Melody Reynolds says, "Uh. Okay. Not dead here. Any news on the satellite? Was it a dud? Did he strike somewhere else?" John Jafari is anguished by that. "Barry? Barry, you... you okay, dude?" Arin's still out. <'EDC'> Corporal Johnson says, "It did fire! Oh, phew, wasn't in a densely populated area. Somewhere out in the middle of nowhere! Close one!" <'EDC'> Apocryphacius says, "Hm." <'EDC'> Melody Reynolds says, "Somebody get trajectory on that sat and scramble some air support- I don't want this guy getting a second shot!" Ravage pushes himself to his feet, collecting the phone for later intelligence gathering purposes. Briefly, his gaze goes towards John. Nothing is said, though, no reason to. He hops down off the stage and stalks towards Windshear. "We should leave." <'EDC'> Corporal Johnson says, "Yes ma'am!" First Aid shoots Windshear a quick look. Aid has a full faceplate so he can't mouth the words 'we're trying to stall him!' but hopefully the Seeker gets the general idea. Then Barry unleashes the might of the satellite and... nothing? The Protectobot glances around, surprised. "Ravage did you turn the satellite on Barry?" <'EDC'> First Aid says, "Get someone over to the impact site also." Almost as an afterthought, Melody looks at the 'cons- but she's not in her armor, and she's got better things to do! "Doctor-" she tells first Aid, "Can you handle things here? I'm going to take these guys-" she narrows her eyes at John & Arin. "-to the proper authorities." Windshear closes his cargobay doors and opens his canopy for Ravage to get inside. "Lets get out of here, Ravage." he says and while noticing the look First Aid had given him moments earlier, cant acknowledge it as hes in jetmode right now. "The targeting coordinates were altered." Ravage hops into the offered space, settling down and giving the autobot a smug grin. "Saved your hide, did it not? So do not complain." He leaves it at that falling silent. First Aid nods to Melody, giving her a little salute. "You got it. Just be careful with them." As for Ravage and Windshear, First Aid looks over to Blades for guidance. Blades covers his face with his hands and grumbles, "And this is why guns are stupid. Because they can't even shoot down satellites." Now, what to do with Windshear and Ravage... Windshear closes his canopy, fires up his engines and taxies toward an exit, ignoring the look Blades is giving them. "Watch them, Ravage." he suggests as he abruptly shoots the doors out of his way. Then he revs up and heads out. Dont get in the way of his afterburners right now... <'EDC'> First Aid says, "So is someone doing that?" <'EDC'> Corporal Johnson says, "Yes sir! We got an interceptor in range of the satellite, and we have a report on the impact site. Uh, if someone was there, he's not anymore. Let's just say that." <'EDC'> First Aid says, "Alright well search to see if someone was." Ravage does indeed watch as Windshear ramps up for takeoff. Though, that's passive. His internal processors are churning data like a fiend. <'EDC'> Corporal Johnson says, "We'll look into it sir!" <'NEST'> Blades says, "Uh. First Aid. Reynolds. I will never mention any of this again if you don't." <'NEST'> Repugnus says, "Too late! All over the news! Pics and everything." <'NEST'> Red Alert says, "People are always watching.. listening.. plotting." <'NEST'> Blades says, "Yeah, I know you are, you weirdo." <'NEST'> Red Alert says, "You say that as if it's a 'bad' thing." <'NEST'> Whirl says, "Hey Red, you ever think that, and don't take this the wrong way, but you ever think that maybe you're just a little paranoid?" <'NEST'> Repugnus says, "*Whirl.* I for one encourage all Autobots to indulge in their mental disorders as much as possible." <'NEST'> Whirl says, "Man, I wish more people were like that." <'NEST'> Whirl says, "Everyone's always like 'Whirl, stop being so crazy' and 'Whirl, stop putting secret cameras in the washing room'" <'NEST'> Red Alert says, "A little paranoid?" <'NEST'> Red Alert says, "I don't think I'm paranoid enough." <'NEST'> Red Alert says, "I should have seen this youtube plot coming, I might.. be losing my grip."